Day 100 - Evening:
It was in the shower that it happened.
A flash of red, a flash of anger.
A flash of darkness, and I crumbled to the floor.
I came to a few moments later. Thankfully, I was alone. I quickly scraped myself up decided to get out of there before someone saw me. I could have sworn as I passed a mirror that there was something wrong in the reflection.
I was worried.
I started to walk through the hallways, nothing but a towel on, and back to my quarters.
I passed by an Elvaan on the way. It was a perfectly standard procedure. He was headed to get cleaned up, to shave I think.
I stopped as he passed and turned.
The only thing I wanted to do was push him against a wall and kill him.
I knew what was going on.
We're losing.
Was that my thought, or did it belong to the first demon?
I hurried back to my room, glad that I didn't see anyone else on the way. I got some clothes on.
I was scared.
I was very scared, and I still am.
I've been playing with fire; I don't want to burn someone else.
Cai walked into the room at some point, and the hardest decision ever was not telling him, because I was that scared.
We're going to lose. I cannot keep him back.
It looked as though I had finally bit off more than I could chew.
I managed to slowly suppress the urge to kill Cai from the moment I saw him. It was so difficult...
And when I saw Wolfgang? Forget it, that was almost too hard.
How do we stop this?
I kept asking inward, but he didn't know either.
We were both scared.
"Is something wrong?" Cai asked over dinner. I quickly shook my head, keen not to look at him.
"Tired," I mumbled, and went back to my popotos.
Kill him...
I was gripping my knife and I had been glancing at him without realizing it. I got out of there, quickly.
I rushed back to the room, glad that no one was there. I grabbed a rucksack and quickly tossed a few sets of clothing in there. I packed some rations, grabbed some pens and a few other diaries, and tossed them in. I basically took my necessities.
Every time I saw someone, I had the urge to bite into them and massacre them in every single way. I barely fought it. The only thing I could think to do was to get out, and get out now. I had become a danger to the people I wanted to save.
I searched around until I found the Chocobos, and I went to grab the first one that I saw. By sheer coincidence, there was one of the immortals there that was tasked with dealing with the Empire's birds. When he saw me going to mount a Chocobo he stopped me.
He took me over to one that was sequestered.
It was beautiful. It was a gorgeous white one.
"The Empress wills for you to use this one; she herself had raised it," he said simply.
She was too good to me, and now I was about to abandon all the people that she had given me, and everything she gave me.
"My thanks," I said. I placed my hand near the bird. As though it knew that I was its masters lover, it came right to me and let me rub its beak.
I left Delkfutt a few minutes later, riding out on the bird.
I'm not sure where I'm going to go, but I have a few plans.
Wolfgang is too slow to act, and so I shall force his hand to decision.
Tonight, Jeuno shall burn to the ground by my hand, and I'm not going to leave until there's nothing left. We're tethered where we are because there is a Jeuno. People come because there is a Jeuno.
The only way that which I can stop this and make them go to a safer land is to finally end the reign of Jeuno. Sometimes, you need to simply start over. If I cut off the emotional tie to this land, they will be forced to adapt and remember the reality of the situation.
Delkfutt has been a haven, and it still shall; but it is not for them to stay, now.
Instead, it is time for them to go to Altepa. The Turned do not excel there. I cannot see a Demon doing well in such heat; they are creatures of the icelands.
Is that where I am to go? To Altepa? To the icelands?
I'm not sure. As I stand here, my bird next to me, with the residential area to Jeuno in front of me, I cannot help but wonder if I am about to commit the right act.
It's time to close this book.
Where shall I be next? I'm not entirely sure. All I know is that I'm going to burn Jeuno to the ground, and then I shall ride out.
If no one else will, I'll finish this all alone, or I'll secure Altepa alone, or sit in the blazes I'm about to start and kill myself alone.
But if I do not kill myself, all I know is that I'm going to ride out on a pale Chocobo, and I have no intention on turning back until it's safe to be near me again.
And this time, I ride alone.