Forget retail completely. Give any private server a try. Sorely focus on it. Think how much you actually care about the community. Come back here to see what intelligence is about.
The problem with private servers:
1: It's not real, it's a copy of a thing. This sounds silly cause I know how games work, but it's how our minds can work. It's like asking your mom for a Hulk figure when you're a kid and she buys you the dollar store Halp figure with a busted rubber face.
There is no gravitas there, as with retail cause I almost treat retail like a real place in my mind. If I goto a place in the world, I have memories of things I did there with people in the past and on a private server that isn't that place and instead it's a cheap replica.
The only time this ends for me is if the real one isn't there anymore.
2: The game is run by random people, with the flaws of random people. Corruption, drama, incompetence, greed and laziness seep into ever aspect of the game and it's always in your mind they are probably doing awful stuff behind the scenes. Like inflating player numbers so they can pretend they are bigger than they really are, selling gil, giving stuff to friends etc Cause of course they are, when there are no rules (or getting fired as would happen on retail) to stop them why would they not do those things.
3: It is incredibly hard to add new content to the game, and if they do it has a poor direction where it feels like they are just throwing stuff at the wall. Also the people who fund the servers often don't want them to progress beyond what they want it to be. For instance Ninja wants his memberberries stroked when he logs in because it reminds this millionaire of what it was like when he was a kid, so he will be opposed to going past CoP. So it's not going to go past CoP, cause he is paying for it and there is no financial inventive to go anywhere else.
4: The community on these servers isn't the same at all, it's often almost all turbo sweaty nerds. On retail there was and still is a wider variety of people you come across, and it's a more interesting world because of that. Retail is like walking into a random pub cause of ease of access, private servers are like walking into a members only real ale meeting.
5: 2024 is not the same as 2004, playing on retail in 2004 we had far more open minds and were willing to make friends. No "friend" you make on a private server will be worth a damn a month from now or a week after you leave, you'll never make a friend you value there and you'll never potentially find someone you care about beyond that either. I made friends on retail that I was friends with for 10-15+ years and still care about and think about.
6: The people who run private servers are more likely to know who you are and take an interest in you (especially if you're a woman), instead of doing it as a job. A private server admin can read all your chat logs, all your tells, all your ls chat and even stand behind you invisible if they want. On retail nobody really cares about you in that way (unless it's a GM call cause you're botting or something), so you can do what you want and not feel like some loser is watching you.
On a private server you're more aware they can be there, even if they aren't you're still aware. They also moderate far more, cause they are gonna be control freaks and so unlike retail there isn't the same level of freedom you feel to call someone a shi**head, private servers feel like you're in school or something and you have to be good.
God help you if you called someone a shi**head and it's a staff members alt, or you camp against him and win a claim.
Private servers can be good if the people behind them actually care about the game and not just their own egos. If they are professional and if retail no longer exists they can be good, but outside of that it's just a shitty knockoff run by clowns.
The only private server I have seen that is even slightly respectable and competent is Eden and why would I play that when I can just play retail, if I can't afford retail or they annoy me enough to not want to play I'll go play something else instead.
Retail > something else > a shi**y knockoff run by clowns.
The only time I would go near a PS is if retail ended, and if someone like Atom0s was behind it.