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Random Thoughts.....What are you thinking?
サーバ: Asura
Game: FFXI
Posts: 36553
By Asura.Ludoggy 2011-10-16 04:58:11
[+]
 Phoenix.Fondue
サーバ: Phoenix
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2713
By Phoenix.Fondue 2011-10-16 04:59:22
if you fish /away can gms not /tell you
サーバ: Asura
Game: FFXI
Posts: 36553
By Asura.Ludoggy 2011-10-16 05:01:10
I have no clue.
But gm's can send a message to you 'silently'
I dont fish as much as I used to, but I havent gotten a /tell since I was fishing on Elvaton last year.
By slipispsycho 2011-10-16 05:03:08
Leviathan.Hohenheim said: »Sort of emo-drama stuff, so don't read if you don't wanna 'hear about it' but it's just something I gotta let out..
You ever have something you want to say to someone so bad, that it goes beyond a want, it's a need.. I refuse to talk to my father, he calls occasionally to talk to my grandmother (mostly her b-day and mother's day, sometimes thanksgiving or christmas) and if I pick up the phone I just say hold on and give her the phone, I don't give him a chance to talk, I don't want to talk to him, I always end up crying and getting violent with anyone who comes near me until I've calmed down..
When I was growing up, I wanted nothing more than my parents, I looked upon my friends with contempt because they had a mother and father.. I had neither. I despise the both of them for abandoning me.. I know what happened to my brothers, they were abused badly, and I looked upon them with contempt too, I wanted my father to be in my life and beat me, at least it would mean he was in my life..
Sometimes I wish I had the strength to just 'hold my ground' and tell him flat out, he had his chance to be my father and he didn't want that.. He doesn't get to come around years later and try to be a dad, he had his chance and he blew it, but I also want to thank him, because I despise who he is so much that I am absolutely determined to never just abandon my son.. That I will be part of my son's life and who my father is as a person and a father is exactly who I refuse to be, and I strive to never be like him..
I guess in some weird way, he taught me how to be a father, it's not anything he ever intended, I didn't learn from him, I learned from his mistakes.
/end emo rant and now I feel a bit better.
That's a pickle. Part of me wants to /cheer you on for ignoring him, but I mean, does it help you or make you feel better? Sounds like it's just causing you a lot of pain. I mean my dads in no way near as like that, but I don't get along with mine or talk to him, and ignoring him doesn't make me feel any better tbh. All I can say for certain is talking to him gives me more pain than it does to ignore him. If there was any chance it could ever be resolved, then maybe talking would 'fix' things, but there's nothing he could say or do to make it up.. I've even gave him chances, he came back into my life (running from the law and needing a new place to live, he came here) he proceeded to alienate me further. Then a couple years later I started hanging out with my brother a lot, who happened to live with him, so again, we had close, constant interaction, again no amount of regret in him, nothing of redemption..
Despite all the chances he's had to rectify the situation, he's never made the attempt.. I guess it's easier to cry on the phone and pretend like you want to make things right when you're a thousand miles away, than it is when you have the opportunity.
It could be I'm selfish, but I'm not going to let another little piece of me die by believing he wants to fix things when he's already had the chance multiple times over.
In short, I'm in no shortage of pain over it, I want him to be a father as much as he wants me to believe he does, but that's just simply not enough for me anymore, despite the pain of having absolutely no father figure in my life, the pain of letting him back in is greater.
サーバ: Asura
Game: FFXI
Posts: 8
By Asura.Candyapple 2011-10-16 05:05:11
if you fish /away can gms not /tell you
Well Fishing is just boring. So maybe the GM /tells you since they think you are so bored you need chat company?
[+]
 Fenrir.Niniann
サーバ: Fenrir
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2871
By Fenrir.Niniann 2011-10-16 05:07:53
GMs can send tells through /away.
@Ludo; when you say silently, you mean it doesn't make a ringing noise..?
Leviathan.Hohenheim
サーバ: Leviathan
Game: FFXI
Posts: 3351
By Leviathan.Hohenheim 2011-10-16 05:10:38
Leviathan.Hohenheim said: »Sort of emo-drama stuff, so don't read if you don't wanna 'hear about it' but it's just something I gotta let out..
You ever have something you want to say to someone so bad, that it goes beyond a want, it's a need.. I refuse to talk to my father, he calls occasionally to talk to my grandmother (mostly her b-day and mother's day, sometimes thanksgiving or christmas) and if I pick up the phone I just say hold on and give her the phone, I don't give him a chance to talk, I don't want to talk to him, I always end up crying and getting violent with anyone who comes near me until I've calmed down..
When I was growing up, I wanted nothing more than my parents, I looked upon my friends with contempt because they had a mother and father.. I had neither. I despise the both of them for abandoning me.. I know what happened to my brothers, they were abused badly, and I looked upon them with contempt too, I wanted my father to be in my life and beat me, at least it would mean he was in my life..
Sometimes I wish I had the strength to just 'hold my ground' and tell him flat out, he had his chance to be my father and he didn't want that.. He doesn't get to come around years later and try to be a dad, he had his chance and he blew it, but I also want to thank him, because I despise who he is so much that I am absolutely determined to never just abandon my son.. That I will be part of my son's life and who my father is as a person and a father is exactly who I refuse to be, and I strive to never be like him..
I guess in some weird way, he taught me how to be a father, it's not anything he ever intended, I didn't learn from him, I learned from his mistakes.
/end emo rant and now I feel a bit better.
That's a pickle. Part of me wants to /cheer you on for ignoring him, but I mean, does it help you or make you feel better? Sounds like it's just causing you a lot of pain. I mean my dads in no way near as like that, but I don't get along with mine or talk to him, and ignoring him doesn't make me feel any better tbh. All I can say for certain is talking to him gives me more pain than it does to ignore him. If there was any chance it could ever be resolved, then maybe talking would 'fix' things, but there's nothing he could say or do to make it up.. I've even gave him chances, he came back into my life (running from the law and needing a new place to live, he came here) he proceeded to alienate me further. Then a couple years later I started hanging out with my brother a lot, who happened to live with him, so again, we had close, constant interaction, again no amount of regret in him, nothing of redemption..
Despite all the chances he's had to rectify the situation, he's never made the attempt.. I guess it's easier to cry on the phone and pretend like you want to make things right when you're a thousand miles away, than it is when you have the opportunity.
It could be I'm selfish, but I'm not going to let another little piece of me die by believing he wants to fix things when he's already had the chance multiple times over.
In short, I'm in no shortage of pain over it, I want him to be a father as much as he wants me to believe he does, but that's just simply not enough for me anymore, despite the pain of having absolutely no father figure in my life, the pain of letting him back in is greater.
Have you told him you want nothing to do with him?
サーバ: Odin
Game: FFXI
Posts: 11417
By Odin.Minefield 2011-10-16 05:10:57
I missed P&F again Nini, sorry :<!
サーバ: Asura
Game: FFXI
Posts: 36553
By Asura.Ludoggy 2011-10-16 05:11:19
GM handbook had something like /silent tell.
I'm assuming it's to work around the built in chime and not one of the help desk messages that you'll get flashing on your upper right.
By slipispsycho 2011-10-16 05:15:16
Leviathan.Hohenheim said: »Leviathan.Hohenheim said: »Sort of emo-drama stuff, so don't read if you don't wanna 'hear about it' but it's just something I gotta let out..
You ever have something you want to say to someone so bad, that it goes beyond a want, it's a need.. I refuse to talk to my father, he calls occasionally to talk to my grandmother (mostly her b-day and mother's day, sometimes thanksgiving or christmas) and if I pick up the phone I just say hold on and give her the phone, I don't give him a chance to talk, I don't want to talk to him, I always end up crying and getting violent with anyone who comes near me until I've calmed down..
When I was growing up, I wanted nothing more than my parents, I looked upon my friends with contempt because they had a mother and father.. I had neither. I despise the both of them for abandoning me.. I know what happened to my brothers, they were abused badly, and I looked upon them with contempt too, I wanted my father to be in my life and beat me, at least it would mean he was in my life..
Sometimes I wish I had the strength to just 'hold my ground' and tell him flat out, he had his chance to be my father and he didn't want that.. He doesn't get to come around years later and try to be a dad, he had his chance and he blew it, but I also want to thank him, because I despise who he is so much that I am absolutely determined to never just abandon my son.. That I will be part of my son's life and who my father is as a person and a father is exactly who I refuse to be, and I strive to never be like him..
I guess in some weird way, he taught me how to be a father, it's not anything he ever intended, I didn't learn from him, I learned from his mistakes.
/end emo rant and now I feel a bit better.
That's a pickle. Part of me wants to /cheer you on for ignoring him, but I mean, does it help you or make you feel better? Sounds like it's just causing you a lot of pain. I mean my dads in no way near as like that, but I don't get along with mine or talk to him, and ignoring him doesn't make me feel any better tbh. All I can say for certain is talking to him gives me more pain than it does to ignore him. If there was any chance it could ever be resolved, then maybe talking would 'fix' things, but there's nothing he could say or do to make it up.. I've even gave him chances, he came back into my life (running from the law and needing a new place to live, he came here) he proceeded to alienate me further. Then a couple years later I started hanging out with my brother a lot, who happened to live with him, so again, we had close, constant interaction, again no amount of regret in him, nothing of redemption..
Despite all the chances he's had to rectify the situation, he's never made the attempt.. I guess it's easier to cry on the phone and pretend like you want to make things right when you're a thousand miles away, than it is when you have the opportunity.
It could be I'm selfish, but I'm not going to let another little piece of me die by believing he wants to fix things when he's already had the chance multiple times over.
In short, I'm in no shortage of pain over it, I want him to be a father as much as he wants me to believe he does, but that's just simply not enough for me anymore, despite the pain of having absolutely no father figure in my life, the pain of letting him back in is greater.
Have you told him you want nothing to do with him? Yep, multiple times, he doesn't seem to get the hint.. Even my wife has jumped on the phone and told him off because she knows what he does to me.
I may have over-reacted a bit, but at the time I meant it, last time we had anything more than him trying to chat with me and me saying hold on to transfer the phone, he told me he was my son's grandfather and that he was going to see him whether I liked it or not (more or less, I can't remember his wording) I told him if he stepped within sight of this house that I would *** kill him (exact words), that my son would never know the great *** up that is my father, and as far as my son was concerned, both of his grandfathers were dead (paraphrased).
He knows I want nothing to do with him, at all.
[+]
サーバ: Asura
Game: FFXI
Posts: 8
By Asura.Candyapple 2011-10-16 05:16:49
I want to be a GM ;. ; all cool in my wispy glowing armor running around all god style.
Leviathan.Hohenheim
サーバ: Leviathan
Game: FFXI
Posts: 3351
By Leviathan.Hohenheim 2011-10-16 05:17:42
Leviathan.Hohenheim said: »Leviathan.Hohenheim said: »Sort of emo-drama stuff, so don't read if you don't wanna 'hear about it' but it's just something I gotta let out..
You ever have something you want to say to someone so bad, that it goes beyond a want, it's a need.. I refuse to talk to my father, he calls occasionally to talk to my grandmother (mostly her b-day and mother's day, sometimes thanksgiving or christmas) and if I pick up the phone I just say hold on and give her the phone, I don't give him a chance to talk, I don't want to talk to him, I always end up crying and getting violent with anyone who comes near me until I've calmed down..
When I was growing up, I wanted nothing more than my parents, I looked upon my friends with contempt because they had a mother and father.. I had neither. I despise the both of them for abandoning me.. I know what happened to my brothers, they were abused badly, and I looked upon them with contempt too, I wanted my father to be in my life and beat me, at least it would mean he was in my life..
Sometimes I wish I had the strength to just 'hold my ground' and tell him flat out, he had his chance to be my father and he didn't want that.. He doesn't get to come around years later and try to be a dad, he had his chance and he blew it, but I also want to thank him, because I despise who he is so much that I am absolutely determined to never just abandon my son.. That I will be part of my son's life and who my father is as a person and a father is exactly who I refuse to be, and I strive to never be like him..
I guess in some weird way, he taught me how to be a father, it's not anything he ever intended, I didn't learn from him, I learned from his mistakes.
/end emo rant and now I feel a bit better.
That's a pickle. Part of me wants to /cheer you on for ignoring him, but I mean, does it help you or make you feel better? Sounds like it's just causing you a lot of pain. I mean my dads in no way near as like that, but I don't get along with mine or talk to him, and ignoring him doesn't make me feel any better tbh. All I can say for certain is talking to him gives me more pain than it does to ignore him. If there was any chance it could ever be resolved, then maybe talking would 'fix' things, but there's nothing he could say or do to make it up.. I've even gave him chances, he came back into my life (running from the law and needing a new place to live, he came here) he proceeded to alienate me further. Then a couple years later I started hanging out with my brother a lot, who happened to live with him, so again, we had close, constant interaction, again no amount of regret in him, nothing of redemption..
Despite all the chances he's had to rectify the situation, he's never made the attempt.. I guess it's easier to cry on the phone and pretend like you want to make things right when you're a thousand miles away, than it is when you have the opportunity.
It could be I'm selfish, but I'm not going to let another little piece of me die by believing he wants to fix things when he's already had the chance multiple times over.
In short, I'm in no shortage of pain over it, I want him to be a father as much as he wants me to believe he does, but that's just simply not enough for me anymore, despite the pain of having absolutely no father figure in my life, the pain of letting him back in is greater.
Have you told him you want nothing to do with him? Yep, multiple times, he doesn't seem to get the hint.. Even my wife has jumped on the phone and told him off because she knows what he does to me.
I may have over-reacted a bit, but at the time I meant it, last time we had anything more than him trying to chat with me and me saying hold on to transfer the phone, he told me he was my son's grandfather and that he was going to see him whether I liked it or not (more or less, I can't remember his wording) I told him if he stepped within sight of this house that I would *** kill him (exact words), that my son would never know the great *** up that is my father, and as far as my son was concerned, both of his grandfathers were dead (paraphrased).
He knows I want nothing to do with him, at all.
eh, he sounds bad. If someone said that to me in that hypothetical situation, about seeing son whether I like it or not, it would make me rage. I can't believe someone would say that, especially considering his situation...
サーバ: Asura
Game: FFXI
Posts: 8
By Asura.Candyapple 2011-10-16 05:19:39
"Random Thoughts.....What are you thinking?"
In the spirit of actual forum title...What the heck you leave for 20 months and all comment you made disappear from before (*,0)
 Phoenix.Sehachan
サーバ: Phoenix
Game: FFXI
Posts: 13352
By Phoenix.Sehachan 2011-10-16 05:23:03
I know that theory and practice hardly match. But hatred is like chains, if you keep holding onto it you'll never be free from that pain. You shuold spit it all out and let go when there's nothing left anymore. Cause if you swallow it back everytime you'll never get better. Letting go of hate is as hard as letting go of love, but you need to do it.
Phoenix.Fondue
サーバ: Phoenix
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2713
By Phoenix.Fondue 2011-10-16 05:24:42
nothing good out of like 50 pants.. got 2crit rate on 1 and 1% wsdmg on another, whats a good way to farm trophies lol
probably orthrus :<
サーバ: Asura
Game: FFXI
Posts: 36553
By Asura.Ludoggy 2011-10-16 05:28:41
nothing good out of like 50 pants.. got 2crit rate on 1 and 1% wsdmg on another, whats a good way to farm trophies lol
probably orthrus :< "Convert all the things!"
yeah anything that gets you a top trophy will get you two of a lower tier...right?
I hate augments.
サーバ: Fenrir
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2464
By Fenrir.Enternius 2011-10-16 05:29:03
http://wdl.square-enix.com/ffxiv/download/en/FFXIV_2.0_Outline_EN.pdf
If you haven't already seen this, scroll down to the 7th page. There's a Chocobo Knight. :D
Phoenix.Fondue
サーバ: Phoenix
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2713
By Phoenix.Fondue 2011-10-16 05:29:28
nothing good out of like 50 pants.. got 2crit rate on 1 and 1% wsdmg on another, whats a good way to farm trophies lol
probably orthrus :< "Convert all the things!"
yeah anything that gets you a top trophy will get you two of a lower tier...right?
I hate augments.
yeah so like 5 body trophies would be 20 pants lol
By slipispsycho 2011-10-16 05:29:39
I've mostly spared the details of his 'history' from the discussion because it wasn't really relevant to what I was saying, and I'm not going to just throw them in now to make him seem 'worse', but let's just say, he's definitely not the type of person you want around your child. Even so, they don't even begin to factor into my feelings towards him, he's a bad enough person as is, but if I really needed to, I could probably get a restraining order against him for my son, and my family in about 10 seconds.
His only ties to this family left were me, my two brothers and his mother. We have a pretty big family, the rest have disowned him, he's not a good person. Even my uncle, who is in prison for violating parole on his 5th DUI (his violation was crashing into a ditch, while drunk, he was on parole after getting out while playing chicken with a cop going the wrong way at over 100MPH on a feeder road) has shoved a 12'' bowie knife through his heart and died 3 times on the way to the hospital, has never kept a woman longer than 6 months because he relentlessly beats them.. Has disowned him, because he's 'crazy' (his words <_<).
And believe it or not, that doesn't even begin to 'make him look bad'...
^^^^^ Obligatory bowie knife image
 Carbuncle.Flionheart
サーバ: Carbuncle
Game: FFXI
Posts: 1759
By Carbuncle.Flionheart 2011-10-16 05:43:07
GM handbook had something like /silent tell.
I'm assuming it's to work around the built in chime and not one of the help desk messages that you'll get flashing on your upper right.
It is yeah, other alarms will still go off though.
Phoenix.Fondue
サーバ: Phoenix
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2713
By Phoenix.Fondue 2011-10-16 05:44:17
why are all these people fishing in nashmau and not talacca D:
サーバ: Asura
Game: FFXI
Posts: 36553
By Asura.Ludoggy 2011-10-16 05:44:25
Carbuncle.Flionheart said: »GM handbook had something like /silent tell.
I'm assuming it's to work around the built in chime and not one of the help desk messages that you'll get flashing on your upper right.
It is yeah, other alarms will still go off though. The man can't hold us down!
why are all these people fishing in nashmau and not talacca D: God forbid if you have to throw fish into your sack/satchel
Leviathan.Hohenheim
サーバ: Leviathan
Game: FFXI
Posts: 3351
By Leviathan.Hohenheim 2011-10-16 05:47:06
I've mostly spared the details of his 'history' from the discussion because it wasn't really relevant to what I was saying, and I'm not going to just throw them in now to make him seem 'worse', but let's just say, he's definitely not the type of person you want around your child. Even so, they don't even begin to factor into my feelings towards him, he's a bad enough person as is, but if I really needed to, I could probably get a restraining order against him for my son, and my family in about 10 seconds.
His only ties to this family left were me, my two brothers and his mother. We have a pretty big family, the rest have disowned him, he's not a good person. Even my uncle, who is in prison for violating parole on his 5th DUI (his violation was crashing into a ditch, while drunk, he was on parole after getting out while playing chicken with a cop going the wrong way at over 100MPH on a feeder road) has shoved a 12'' bowie knife through his heart and died 3 times on the way to the hospital, has never kept a woman longer than 6 months because he relentlessly beats them.. Has disowned him, because he's 'crazy' (his words <_<).
And believe it or not, that doesn't even begin to 'make him look bad'...
^^^^^ Obligatory bowie knife image
jesus lol. why don;t you just get the restraining order then?
 Bahamut.Samunai
サーバ: Bahamut
Game: FFXI
Posts: 190
By Bahamut.Samunai 2011-10-16 05:52:36
I want to be a GM ;. ; all cool in my wispy glowing armor running around all god style.
try test server- no shining armor but ur god like :D
サーバ: Odin
Game: FFXI
Posts: 11417
By Odin.Minefield 2011-10-16 06:02:02
I really hope Candy deletes that quote of that crawler c.c!
By slipispsycho 2011-10-16 06:02:03
Leviathan.Hohenheim said: »I've mostly spared the details of his 'history' from the discussion because it wasn't really relevant to what I was saying, and I'm not going to just throw them in now to make him seem 'worse', but let's just say, he's definitely not the type of person you want around your child. Even so, they don't even begin to factor into my feelings towards him, he's a bad enough person as is, but if I really needed to, I could probably get a restraining order against him for my son, and my family in about 10 seconds.
His only ties to this family left were me, my two brothers and his mother. We have a pretty big family, the rest have disowned him, he's not a good person. Even my uncle, who is in prison for violating parole on his 5th DUI (his violation was crashing into a ditch, while drunk, he was on parole after getting out while playing chicken with a cop going the wrong way at over 100MPH on a feeder road) has shoved a 12'' bowie knife through his heart and died 3 times on the way to the hospital, has never kept a woman longer than 6 months because he relentlessly beats them.. Has disowned him, because he's 'crazy' (his words <_<).
And believe it or not, that doesn't even begin to 'make him look bad'...
^^^^^ Obligatory bowie knife image
jesus lol. why don;t you just get the restraining order then? No need to, unless he shows up.. He's wanted in most states, including mine.. In some weird way, I'm hoping he shows up.. I would love nothing better than for him to not heed my warnings. I have a lot of pent up rage that I'll never let go of unless I let go of it on him. Call it justification or whatever, but I've warned him, I've told him.. I'd never do something like kill him, because then I'd be doing exactly he taught me not to do, which is abandon my son.. I won't be here for him if I'm in prison.. But I'd take the possible probation/6 months in jail (really would never come to jail, I'd get fined and put on probation at worse but he owes a lot of time to this state, he'll run the second he knows cops are coming) to beat his ***.. To pay him back for my brothers and mother, to pay him back for me.. I hope he does show up, there won't be talk, I'll show him how welcome he is, and when I get tired of beating him, when I view him as nothing but an inconvenience as he viewed me, then I won't need the restraining order, I'll hold him down until the cops show up, and when they do, he'll be going away for a long time.
I don't pretend to hide it, I have very strong feelings against him, but I've made them clear, I've told him the worse case scenario, and if he pushes his luck, well, me and my brothers, we've always cried when we're angry, when I talk to him, I cry, but not because I'm sad, me and my brothers we have strong emotions, and we can't really control them, it's just a trait in our family, we get so overwhelmed we cry, I've seen it happen, we'll cry while beating the living crap out of you.. Not really something we can control and I'm not really sure why it happens other than the fact that we're emotional, even overly so.
He shows up, after all I've said to him, it's on his head. I will sob like a *** while teaching him why showing up here is a really bad idea. I hope the cops show up while I'm doing it too, he stands to lose much more than I do.
Unfortunately I'm no goodie two shoes, so I know how the law works, even against me.. I may go on record for domestic dispute, but he has years old felonious warrants he fled from. Not to mention more misdemeanors than I can count.
[+]
Ramuh.Krizz
サーバ: Ramuh
Game: FFXI
Posts: 23561
By Ramuh.Krizz 2011-10-16 06:52:24
"Random Thoughts.....What are you thinking?"
In the spirit of actual forum title...What the heck you leave for 20 months and all comment you made disappear from before (*,0) Maybe you left them on one of your other two accounts.
[+]
サーバ: Shiva
Game: FFXI
Posts: 916
By Shiva.Xellith 2011-10-16 07:01:31
I hate how my moogle calls me master... FLY FREE MY FRIEND!
 Cerberus.Savannah
サーバ: Cerberus
Game: FFXI
Posts: 7938
By Cerberus.Savannah 2011-10-16 07:08:01
Spring registration starts tomorrow x.x
Carbuncle.Flionheart
サーバ: Carbuncle
Game: FFXI
Posts: 1759
By Carbuncle.Flionheart 2011-10-16 08:11:48
I need to get myself a Felibre's Dague.
It's that one piece of gear that has just eluded me for ages. I need to get MKE and ASA done too.
On an unrelated note, how much as black belt items now-a-days? 3mil each?
This is a thread that I found on another website I post at. It can be really really interesting. I thought it deserved a place here.
Post your random thoughts for the day here, or anything else that intrigues you.
For starters, is it possible to give constructive critism to someone who doesn't have a neck? I totally just walked by a girl who didn't. Someone isn't getting a necklace for Valentines day!
And who decided black and white can't be colors? I want to say a racist. I really do.
Inb4thisthreadgetsreallywtf
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