Joke Time.

The Holocaust.

He was deserted

and then they sit down at a table and order a drink. Then a Buddhist monk walks in, looking for some nice tea, and takes a seat at the bar. Why he'd go into a bar for *tea*, no one knew, much less did they care.

So, two hours later - with the priest and the rabbi buzzed and the monk out of it - an agnostic and an atheist enter the bar and the bartender, at first, doesn't notice them. When the two approach the bar, the bartender finally realizes what's about to go down, so he tells the priest, rabbi, monk, agnostic, and atheist to leave the bar.

So, the group decides to head to a nearby fast food restaurant in order to grab a bite to eat. As they approach this amalgamation of various fast-food chains, the group determines that they need to choose which food they'd like to order (since everyone has to agree on one thing, according to the priest for some drunken spouted reason or another).

So, they sit down in the food court and start discussing which food they should order. The priest said that they should have fish because he was a priest and that was that. The rabbi suggested that they have some obscure traditional dish that none of the others had ever even heard of. The monk was all about fish and rice, and the atheist said he didn't care. The Atheist then spoke up, saying he felt like tacos, which only annoyed the rabbi because it wasn't kosher.

As the bickering began, a Scientologist walked over to the table and decided he'd join them for a meal. The group didn't mind at all, but they told him that he'd have no say in what they ordered as a group. The Scientologist then bickered with the rest of the group, saying he had just as much a say in what they ordered as the rest of them.

So, in the midst of this dual-front argument, a Taoist and a "pagan" walked over and agreed that the Scientologist should have a say in what the group ordered.

So, it's about four hours later, and the food court vendors are questioning staying open to compensate for this indecisive group of customers. Knowing that they'd be fired if they didn't ask their manager first, the vendors called their manager down and had him ask the group to come to a decision on an order or kindly leave.

So, the group decides that, since they can't order, they'll leave and find a nice, little diner to order a meal in. After an hour of walking, they come across this '70s theme bar, and order a few burgers and fries (except for the cheese for the rabbi, because of the kosher issue and all that).

Now, this cute, little waitress comes by to take their order and asks what they'd all like to drink. The group then bickers about who'd do what with the waitress if their lives were different, and the waitress hears this when she brings back their drinks. After setting their drinks on the table, she quickly shuffles away from the table and runs to the back room. A few minutes later, the manager comes out and asks them to leave. The group mutters a bit and then decides to leave before things get ugly.

They wander for about half an hour before they come across a delicatessen that never seemed to see much business. Now, it just so happens that I'm working the night shift on this one particular night, and I see the group enter. They're all frustrated, look like they'll kill everyone else if they provoke the other in the slightest, and look like they'll beat the crap out of me if I stare or say something about it. So, I say "Welcome to Roger's Deli. Is there something you'd like to order in particular?"

The group looks at me even more furiously, and I'm afraid that I might've offended them in some way. So, I open my mouth to ask the priest what's wrong and soon find that my teeth have been punched into the back of my throat and I'm on my back, blood coming out of my mouth.

I stumble on up to my feet and look at the priest as if he's gone insane. At this point, I notice that the rabbi sounds as if he's cursing at me in Yiddish for all I know. The monk looks at me disapprovingly and wipes his finger along the ridge between his nose and mouth. Although I don't get it right away, I realize he's motioning for me to wipe something off from under my nose. I do so and realize that I have black marker...or at least what I thought was black marker; I'd been sick with a cold and couldn't smell anything...smeared onto my face as if mimicking the stereotypical Hitler 'stache.

I apologize to the rabbi and the rest of the group and they leave. I go home that night, feeling crappy as hell, and sleep uneasily. I return to work the next day to find that my boss is firing me and I see the EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH sign refurbished against the back wall, behind the counter. It has my only co-worker's picture in place of where my picture was. Then I realized something. I had taken a nap before starting my shift that night...and my co-worker was one of the people in that group of people!

It turns out that the jerk was trying to steal my job and credit, so he "drew" a Hitler 'stache on my face and managed to get that group to come here somehow. So, in a fit of anger, I punch the crap out of my boss and co-worker. It turns out that my boss was Jewish...and I punched a man who thought I was an anti-Semite. Turns out that that doesn't look good on resumés...or police reports filed when a boss presses charges.

So, now I'm sitting in a jail cell, wondering when my anti-Semite cellmate is going to come after me because he thinks I'm trying to steal his fame (I made page 3 in a local newspaper - he only got page 12). Life's a beach, isn't it?