PARKER and I prepared The Evil SUV... oil change, replace broken lights, cleaning it out, the works.
The mission was pretty straight forward a one day shopping excursion to Cin City 220 miles round trip but that doesn't mean we don't top off the fluids and prepare to battle the never ending crush of humanity. Get frosty, stay frosty serve it up ice cold brothers.
And we're off, cruising through this year's bumper crop of orange barrels and ever changing highway lanes. Our destination Jungle Jim's International Market which was built in the spirit of american excess I was born to appreciate.
It's a huge rat maze of a grocery store that desperately needs to visit a Whole Foods to see how to lay out isles and incorporate eating areas for the different sections. There is no rest for the weary at Jungle Jim's and after pushing an old shopping cart around it for a couple of hours I began to wonder why in the hell didn't they put up a couple of tables and chairs so you could eat a pretzel or a bagel, drink a cup of coffee before moving out again.
NO. it looks like this
regodameddiculous
when we were finished there were a couple of bleacher seats outside by the jungle scene which is also the exit which is of course where I parked. It was crowded even on a monday and I thank Altana for not trying to go there on a weekend.
They have a little bit of everything but not enough of what you're looking for.... So if you go there looking for a particular ethnic food, say belgium, they have a few things but not really enough.
But if you're going to wander around and stock up on whatever looks good from all over the world they have just the things you never knew you needed.
I bought cigars of course, all kinds of meats and cheeses, and a bunch of condiments hot sauces and weird specialty items from the home land. which made a fine feast when we got home.
Study the map, learn it. because we met some of our cousins there and it was a lot of texting back and forth "we're in the bakery" where the hell is the bakery? "it's over by the wine" what's that next to? and all this sort of thing.
Not the best place for small children who will bore easily from the endless maze and super creepy 70's animatronics.
it was still enjoyable though. bring your walking shoes and an endless amount of patience Rooks... some snacks and drinks for the sprout and maybe an electronic distraction device to keep him occupied.
and try not to channel axl rose too much....when your wife asks
where the hell are we? try to repress your nature urge to reply
You know where you are You're in the jungle baby!
but yeah if you're like me you really can't help it and your kid will look at you weird /shrug