What Do You Say?

I was at school earlier today, checking FFXIAH.com forums since I'd had a break in between classes and haven't been able to touch FFXI in about 2 weeks--and that was only because I had Thanksgiving break and had the time to settle down and relax. I had been gone an entire month since then, sorely missing my ls mates. =(

I was in the Signs of too much FFXI(ing?) thread, and my "friend" who was sitting next to me noticed, read what I was reading, and said, "God. That's SO pathetic." And sort of looked at me disgustedly.

Okay, honestly... not to brag or anything (actually, yes, I want to brag :D), but I've been doing better in class than she has been, and she knows it--the only reason she was with me was because she wanted me to tell her how to do the lab final that I had already finished. Obviously, not "friend material", but whatever.

I could tell her I have friends 10000x better than her in game, but honestly--what's the point? And what else can I say to her other than, "You're being an ignorant jackass, so maybe you should shut up?" I see her point of view--we have admitted countless times that FFXI has taken up a considerable amount of our lives (like we actually READ the warning that pops up in POL before we log in--*tab, enter, enter, Accept, Select Character, Yes, ooO Downloading Data Ooo *), but that doesn't mean we're any less respectable because of it.

But I wanted to know--since she basically insulted me and the rest of my fellow Vana'dielians--what should I say to her? Usually, being the life-long nerd that I am, who has been rolling with the verbal punches ever since elementary school, I don't respond at all. Have you guys ever had similar experiences, and what have you said/what would you have said in response?

Addicted to FFXI and DAMNED PROUD OF IT (but too timid to acknowledge it irl <_<),
Anye

If i didn't care about their friendship i would point out a "disgusting" trait of theirs like, "At least I don't sleep with randoms" XD But honestly and more realistically I would explain to them that you don't criticize their hobbies and you would like it if they could at least pretend to respect yours. But if that's a litte too confrontational for you then I guess putting up with it until you find nicer friends would be an option...and probably what i would do irl if it were me. Hope this helps lol ~Ameilie

Don't give her test answers until she gets her subjob first. Won't go into more detail than that here.

Where were the girls like you when I was in school?

FFXI has taken alot of our time. Most of us admit to countless hours of playing time that would be seen as silly to the outside world. I think most of us has met ppl in game that act more like a freind that some of our RL friends do. Many of my in game friends I would love to hang out with IRL. Yes the items we get in game has no real "Value" ,but the emotion that we get when we obtain a certain item or finsh an expansion with the help and support of our in game friends. It brings joy to me when a friend gets an item that they have been after.

I don't blame the outside world, because they don't understand. But I would tell them to respect you and your friends. Just because we choose different ways to spend our off time, doesn't make us any less of a person than she is. If she can't respect you then she isn't a friend. She is just someone trying to leach off of your intellegence and I wouldn't put up with that. A real friend would support you with anything that you do. It is sad that most of our in game friends support us and help us more than ppl irl but I guess that is what being a True friend is. No matter where they come from or what they do for a living, we are there for each other.

Say "God your SO pathetic for not being able to pass the lab final without MY help, maybe you should play FFXI and merit your INT a bit?!"

Ahem, anyways people like that just annoy me, she's immature and jelous and i'm sure you have a friend or two irl that are worth hanginhg with that won't judge you and that's all you need.

I've told my mum/best friend straight that I play even though he's never played a RPG let alone MMO but then me and him are 20 and respect our different interests. On a more subtle note you could say "each to their own" to her...

Yea I wouldn't pay too much attention to her...

As I was also the nerdy shy girl who read books and played video games with guys while the other girls were doing...erm.. whatever girls do =/ I know where you're coming from.

Most of my friends have accepted that FFXI ate my life, even if they don't understand it. Hell, my mom who can't work her email is learning game terms XD

Although I'm tempted to go with Ameilie's "At least I don't sleep with /randoms" (haha I <3 it) approach, she doesn't even seem worth it to me. A real friend will support you and put you down! And why waste a perfectly good insult on someone you don't like? =/

I went to a casino last weekend and heard stories of people being there all day. My friend was telling me that he once spent over 24 hours straight in a casino in Vegas.

It made me feel better about the 8 hours I play FF in one sitting. When I leave, I have a few higher levels and some new gear. When addicted gamblers leave, they wonder if they can make rent this month.

Video games seem to get an especially bad rep, but in the grand scheme of things, it's one of the least-destructive addictions. The only thing it can destroy is your social life, but people are largely a disappointment anyway. </misanthropy>

I agree with this. Doing gambling, drugs, excessive drinking hell even smoking are more "destructive" either to your body or your life than addiction to a MMO. At least in FFXI you have valuable friends that you have something in common with and its £10 a month compared to £40 on a night out.

People (including myself) have used the game as a escape from rl problems, and i've known a number of people who are happily married to people they met in the game, hell one of my friends got over a drug addiction by playing this lol

FFXI ftw ;)

|True Strike| ^.^

I figure - I don't go out and party all the time, I don't gamble or smoke - I can have this one thing. And why not?? It is way more fun and waaay less destructive than a lot of things people do!

FFXI ftw indeed.

I think things like this are especially prevalent with young people, where percieved status is such a big social factor. Where it's not "cool" to play FFXI because not everyone else is doing it, or even knows what you're talking about.

Admittedly, spending all of your free time on a video game is generally seen as anti-social, and therefore tends to be looked down upon by others.

This is FFXI's (and most MMOs) greatest pitfall, in my opinion... because they're about as far from anti-social as you can get for a video game. Literally, I do not think it is even possible to play a game like FFXI without help from others. The problem is that MMOs are still a niche medium, and thus not entirely understood by people who havent played one.

People who would call you pathetic for playing FFXI can only do so through their own ignorance.

On a lighter note... if you're still in high school, having to worry about girls calling you pathetic cause you play video games too much... then you probably do play video games too much, and should go buy a 12 pack, a bag of weed, and get that girl all wasted and *** her in the mouth.

That should shut her up.

Oh I have to post on this one.

When I visited the parents for thanksgiving (I'm 29, own my house now) I pissed mom off by doing a nyzul isle run instead of talking to her one night. She got all upset and said I'm addicted to the game. When really, I'd just had enough parent time for the weekend ...

Go watch the A&E show Intervention. They even had an episode of a guy who was addicted to online games (not mmo, I remember it was more stuff like call of duty). That guy really did have issues, and it was very clear. Simply because you play a lot per day doesn't mean you're addicted, though I personally think it's a good idea to take a step back every now and then and look at yourself to see if you have gone too far.

So as to what to say - you already said it. She's not friend material.

Um... isnt Anye a girl irl? lol

ROFLMAO, Yes, I'm a girl. That just brought up some horrible images, there, though. @_@;

Yes i believe she is...Anyways, I just ignore people like that lol, I like playing FFXI and whatever people like that, which I like to call tards personally, say just gets totally ignored. But you could just give her the wrong answers for the final, that would be epic lol. Fail FTW! lol, Who is pathetic now!

Thanks for the input guys!!! It was really encouraging seeing these responses, I feel like I can almost tell her to go f*ck her couch now :D hahaha~

But seriously, FFXI has really been a great place for me to grow socially, like I said--withdrawn, nerdy girl who joined the Anime club back in high school, joined the Yu-Gi-Oh! group behind the back fence in middle school, and spent the rest of the time in the library playing Gaia or reading comics. Born a nerd--created for FFXI, I'd like to say >;D

Concerning the so-called adverse effects a video game has on people, the game isn't violent, just addictive in that it takes much time and effort in order to complete a certain task, and you DO feel the pleasure of accomplishment when you finish. And that's JUST the game aspect of it.

The other side--and most important side IMO--is the fact that I've encountered amazing friends in and out of my linkshell, and I do not regret for a second that my life has been consumed by this MMO because of the bonds we've created. Hell, even through these forums we can make friends cross-server^^ This "game" has provided a means by which we can meet people we'd never been able to before.

Thanks again for your replies, everyone!! FFXI FTW \o\ /o/

/salute~

LMAO

XD how can you guys tell I'm a girl, though... XD it's kinda funny :3

QFT

Thats just the feeling I get from reading your posts.

Who thinks im a girl irl out of interest?

Oh and Anye, the world needs more girls like you lol

I can also just tell the diffrence between how guys and girls type. Idk why lol...The avatar kinda helps too i guess =P

Lol cant judge a book by its cover though. This was my first character's mule, now its my main and im always being hit on by guys in-game >< so disturbing, especialy when they keep it up after telling them im a guy hahah

Thanks to SE for bazaar comments >.>

And that...Is how I came to realize 66% of Mithras are guys lol

hey now... just cause you're both girls doesnt mean you cant get drunk and fool around a little...

Many people replied already, but I just wanted to second/third/seventh/twentieth what they're all saying and that's: Keep your head up and ignore the ignorant.

As one person said, it seems that with young people, whatever is not 'in' is ultimately 'uncool' and they're stuck in this mind frame where being just like everyone else is not only "Cool" but necessary. It's a sheep mentality and sadly, it was there when I was in high school and it'll be there when my kids are in high school. I did band for 7 years throughout junior high and senior high school, and instead of my fellow bandmates and I being recognized for our talents and dedication (3 hour practices 3 times a week plus football games on friday nights) we were mocked cause we were 'band geeks.' Eventually you have to just take your title and run with it and be proud of it, regardless of how uncool it may be.

MMO players are stereotyped as being unattractive and socially illiterate; Nobody seems to think twice when someone plays Halo or Gears of War online, but because we're killing dragons and monsters instead of people and aliens, we're somehow less cool than they are. Which is why I really don't understand some of the mass hate and elitism in this game sometimes; just because you have super cool-rare-ultra-R/E-elite gear, you're still lumped into the socially unacceptable nerd faction with the rest of us. But that's another topic for another thread.

All that being said, I have found that the people in FFXI have turned out to be just as good as friends (and some players, even better friends than my RL ones). My boyfriend (*gasp* An MMO girl with a boyfriend?!) plays the game as well and I can say that it makes for nice relaxing nights at home. A date night meriting birds or doing salvage with a big carton of chinese is infinitely better than standing for hours at a 'hip' restaurant waiting for a seat or being crammed into a bar with a bunch of drunk people banging into my table.

Ok, /end giantwalloftext and in summation, what can you say to her? Nothing, you won't change her mind and even if you did, there will always be someone else /pointing and /laughing at us. Just brush it off and come back to Vana'diel. :D

Where we will /point and /laugh at her for being so quick to judge the awesomeness that is FFXI :D