Twilight Intervention

I really like the accents in True Blood. How close they are to the real thing I cannot say, but I find it helps me to get into the show.
Correct me if Im wrong here, but I think setting it further up north in america wouldnt have resulted in such an interesting show. The fact the south is deeply religious makes for a better dynamic. (nearly wrote dynamis....tragic)

No thanks we, don't want those sparkling vamps crossing the border into Canada... lol

Oh man, the True Blood accents remind me of the video Halciform linked me awhile back of a collection of all Bill's pronunciations of "Sookie." The accents never really bothered me until they were pointed it; they are kind of terrible. I have to go hunt it down now. lol

Also, luckily for this thread the Movie in 15 Minutes for New Moon was just finished! Thank me later.

Twilight is gayer than the million gay parade through San Francisco.

FOUND! http://www.ffxiah.com/forum/?topic_id=4489&page=2#189511



NOT HUMAN, I AM HICKPIRE. Pretty sure he sneaks in a "Socky" at some point in there.

The solution:

Sucky Sucky 5 dollar?

Aw, I forgot about this thread. This little gem should revive it! Twilight heckling is a job that never ends, fortunately.

How Twilight Works

FTA:
<3

NEW MOON AS INTERPRETED BY LOLCATS

NO SERIOUSLY. You must. I know what you're thinking, "Cai, these aren't that funny, what the hell is wrong with you?" but really ..REALLY, this one is pretty great. Especially the wolf through a shirt scene.

That pretty much sums up the movies right there.

The most comprehensive explanation as to why Twilight is a bad series, in any way it can possibly be bad.

Twilightsucksk?

In reference to the girl in the video.. His short stories and general ideas have sparked films and comics and have influenced art in all genres. Twilight is the Hanson of literature. 'nuff said.

Ninja Edit: Stone's Intervention was genius. As the older brother to a 14 year old sister whose entire personality has changed because she was foolish enough to allow herself to be influenced by these character archetypes I give the man a thumbs up.

Infact you can and it's taught in any decent english class from high school to creative writing to advance journalism. The first paragraph, wait i'm sorry, the first line, must be the best line in the entire book save for the last. As a writer your goal is to do the following in your first line and first paragraph: Set the tone, structure, and pace for the entire book. Novels give much more freedom then say a biography given you are actually allowed to make up a great deal including grammer and words themselves. Novels are held to a different standard though that which makes a good one happens to be the first paragraph. The writer can increase and decrease this pace at any given chapter, but the first one needs to draw the reader in. Read the first line and paragraph of J.R.R. Tolkien's works (The Fellowship of the ring and The Hobbit), Anne Rice (The vampire Lestat), and Pride and Prejudice.

From The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole, and that means comfort."

Pay attention to this and why I've transcribed it. Your first paragraph is your first impression as an author, and you only get one. The reader doesn't know what a Hobbit is, and their imagination from the title alone has lead them to such ideas that it's a troll or boogeyman or alien. In this first paragraph our author has givin us the following information to go off of.

Our Hobbit lives in a hole.
This hobbit keeps a well to do place that isn't at all the kind of hole we'd imagine.
He enjoy's comfort, and thus, we as humans can instantly relate. So now our seemling completely unfamiliar subject of the title isn't so foreign to us.

In review I noticed this will come off preachy and that's not what I'm intending here. I just happen to be an author and book lover and pretty much enjoyed my A+ in english courses all through highschool and college. That being said about me, just understand that I felt the need to clarify that if one person isn't impressed with the first paragraph (the authors first impression to the reader, remember that) then thats quite fine, the rest of the book may be fantastic but if the reader is put off on the first paragraph and isn't willing to muscle through to the good part wherever it may appear, thats thier choice and to ask them to do so would turn a fun read into a school required reading and honestly, how many of those did we enjoy in school that otherwise would have been great reads had we chosen to read it.

The Hobbit was my favorite :P

See ^^. Good old writing at its best.

Meyer's writing is a slap in the face to any author worth their salt. It's equivalent to a 12-year old girl's LJ entries thrown into a novel format. She's even stated herself that before her book series, she had never written anything... EVER! Her success as an author is a fluke simply because the YA (young adult) publishing industry knew she'd be a cashcow for its target audience.

Updated the link above of the "How Twilight Works" post to reflect Obsydian's words. lol

"Edward's Perfect Face" could so easily be an indie band that goes platinum if they were to get on their ***like yesterday.

Indie band? Based on Twilight? <You can have this>

Wow, I was really not expecting that to be at all possible or true. Parents, hold your children close, take them down to the bunker, talk to them about Edward Cullen and hopefully in a few decades this will have subsided when the Rebel Alliance makes a stand and is able to overtake the Golden Twihard faction from securing power in the Motherland. D:

*gets to work on fanfic*

Wow....

WTF... 3 fat ***, 3 chords progression and the worst lyrics practically snatched directly from the book.

Stephanie Meyer would be proud ;)

Huh, I've heard from a lot of people that The Dark Tower series was one of King's best works. Hm.

I personally couldn't stand The Dark Tower series either. I gave it some time, finishing the first and second books but I just found it so dull... thought it was trying to be -too- grimy and "realistic" with the references to sex and drugs and things as well, which put me off.

This one Really sucked though

I'm sorry but the Dark tower series was amazing. Post apocalyptic gunslinger action in alternate dimensions? *** yes.

Seriously.

The funny thing is, King gave real constructive criticism. Nothing more or less. He explained everything perfectly.

That clip was so amazing.

Bizzump. My friend who showed me the earlier roflrazzi picture just found this one and sent it to me:

*snerk*

New Moon in a minute Parody

waaaaaah, there's so much of this. I love the interweebs.

It will be disturbing to note that I know AT LEAST 5 girls who have had their boyfriends stand in front of the fridge so that they can have sad, cold imitation vampire-y sex with their boyfriends while thinking about Edward Cullen. Poor guys.