Alexander.Carrelo said:
Random question, but how many of yall are in to bars (specifically gay bars) ? I'm going to be 21 in May and could use some deets about what it's like. :3 Like, is there still stuff to do if I don't know how or want to dance ? I don't think even alcohol could help me dance. XD I'm pretty shy and legit have noooo idea about bar culture, help prz.^^ Edit: inb4 someone misreads this and thinks I'm asking about bears lmfao
i started going out as a naive 18 year old. Now years later, bar life has pretty much taken a place in my life just as everything else - best kept to moderation. there are the bar nights where you are lounging about in a legit bar type atmosphere, talking and drinking with friends, and then there is the club atmosphere, where you talk and drink and also dance your *** off.
being someone who has overcome severe social anxiety, i have now accepted the fact that i can 'white boy wiggle' with the best of them. i've never been a great dancer, but the whole point is to just let go and have a *** blast. you're with friends, beer in hand, no one is judging except the bitter jaded queens off to the side who are just jealous and wishing they had the balls to put themselves out there. if you can keep a beat, you're fine. you don't have to have crazy dancing skills. if you are at the str8 clubs and all they play is *** hip hop, learn how to grind and you are all set. a few drinks can take the edge off, but don't go insane. no one wants to be 'that guy' maniacally gyrating in the middle of the dancefloor, standing in an ever-widening circle of space due to people shrinking away from him for fear of decapitation, or worse, being associated with him.
honestly, it's all about finding your comfort zone. i go out now and then in baltimore and dc but i try to visit different places. keeps people from being able to say 'oh yeah, he's ALWAYS here.' (but then again, that means so are they.)
also, if you are ridiculously shy and new to 'the scene' people pick up this pretty quickly, especially older men. you may want to have a back up plan if some unsavory character tries to grope you. (ie: grabbing the closest available friend and exclaiming 'I'M SPOKEN FOR!')
cliche of the day is, relax, be yourself, and don't worry about what other people are thinking. i know i got myself into a panic, looking like a deer in headlights, when i first started going out. if you know for a fact you don't want to dance, research the place you are going and find out if it has a lounge area (pool tables etc) or is a lounge in and of itself, and try to grab a few other like-minded wallflower friends. it's perfectly fine. i didn't start dancing until almost a year after i started going out. pace yourself and do what feels comfortable for you. :)